Self-Doubts? Change Your Body Language!
July 2, 2013 Blog Susanne Ulm
That intrusive, unwanted feeling that something is not quite right, even though all ostensibly appears more than well; a small, seemingly insignificant trouble working its way through my contemplative mind, like a thorn works its way into my side, like the proverbial princess tosses and turns in her sleep because of an inconveniently placed pea…I need to find the pea! And SQUISH the bastard!! Or use it to make a very thin soup. (James Harris, Writer)
When I started my PhD I often heard my internal voice saying: ‘I don’t deserve to be here, the others know so much about their topics and I have no clue’. Psychologists call this experience or feeling the imposter syndrome. The constant voice saying: ‘I don’t deserve to be here, I don’t deserve to be here’ can be thoroughly disempowering. These constant self-doubts reduce your self-confidence and may progress to worries, sleepless nights and even anxiety.
Self-doubts seem to crawl into everyone’s mind before many stressful situations:
- First day of new job
- Job interview
- Holding a presentation in front of people
- Getting bullied at school
- …
The list is endless. Why do we feel that way? Amy Cuddy explains during her TED talk there is one surprising factor that plays an important role in this process: Your body language.
What is body language?
Body language is also called ‘non-verbal behaviour’ because you communicate it only with your body without using your voice. This type of language has an important effect on how we perceive and categorise others. Unconsciously we try to answer 2 questions when meeting someone:
- Do I like this person? (warmth/trustworthiness)
- Do I respect this person? (power/competence)
Amazingly, 80-90% of these judgements are purely based on information we gain by the other person’s non-verbal behaviour.
Body language is not only used exclusively by humans and you can find everywhere in the remaining animal kingdom. From apes and swans to rabbits nearly every animal shows some kind of body language.
Low-power and high power people
There are 2 different kinds of body language: power dominance and low power.
When people show power dominance they are very comfortable with themselves, they stretch out and make themselves bigger. They literally fill up the space of the room they are in. People behave powerful when they feel powerful. This feeling of power can occur chronically or in a specific moment.
Every one of us has felt powerful at least once before. Can you remember your last big success? I’m sure you were very proud of yourself. During that moment, you certainly showed your feelings by a powerful body language; simply because you felt pride.
Powerless people do the opposite to powerful people. Low-power body language means we virtually collapse, make ourselves tiny and take up minimal space. We close and wrap up our bodies to instinctively protect our vital organs. Also, we don’t want to bump into the person next to us as we consider ourself at the bottom of the social hierarchy.
When it comes to body language people complement each other’s body language. It means if our opposite uses a powerful body language we tend to make ourselves smaller.
2 key hormones
What exactly is the different between low-power and high power people? During her research Amy Cuddy found out that there are 2 responsible key hormones in your body: testosterone and cortisol.
Testosterone is the dominance hormone whereas cortisol is released within your body during stress situations.
Primate alpha males as well as powerful leaders have high testosterone and low cortisol levels. This hormone ratio influences the mind of these powerful individuals. They tend to be more confident, more optimistic and get less stressed.
In contrast, low-power people release more cortisol and at the same time reduce their testosterone levels. Therefore these people are more reactive to stress, less confident and less optimistic than powerful people.
Our minds change our bodies! People behave powerful when they feel powerful. (Amy Cuddy)
Fake it until you become it
I’m sure most of us went through a very stressful situation already: job interview. Being in a job interview is a social threat situation because you and your behaviour are judged at every possible level.
Amy Cuddy asked people to do either high-power or low-power poses for 2 minutes before their job interviews.
The differences between people who did high-power and low-power posing were astonishing: Interview observers, blinded to the hypothesis, wanted to hire only high-power posers and no one from the low-power posing group.
As it turned out the individuals who did high-power posing had a testosterone rise and cortisol decrease. The results in low-power posers were reverse! If you can get this hormone difference within 2 minutes imagine how your boss feels, being in the powerful position for a few years already.
Our bodies change our minds…and our minds change our behaviour…and our behaviour changes our outcome. (Amy Cuddy)
Before you start,…
No matter what happens always be yourself
Politicians are masters of controlled body language. However, often they seem aggressive because they make the mistake of overdoing their dominant, powerful body languages. Therefore, always remember to keep separate what you do before the stressful situation, from what you do during the stressful situation:
You only want to feel less fearful and more confident while going into the situation. After doing your powerposing for 2 minutes, don’t overdo it by being dominant in that stressful situation.
Don’t use alpha cowboy moves, like sitting with legs apart and your arm draped over the back of the chair next to you. That can directly undermine the trust you need to build. (Amy Cuddy)
Never forget to smile
is also a form of body language. You can improve your mood with a simple trick: Hold a pen or pencil horizontally between your teeth and force yourself to smile.
As soon as you smile your mood improves which makes it easier to keep smiling. Also, smiles are infectious, similar to yawns: When someone smiles at you, it’s hard to resists smiling yourself.
Especially in a stressful situation a simple smile can ease the tension.
Expect no miracles overnight
Naturally, learning new skills is always challenging at the beginning. Remember your first day at work: everyone and everything was suddenly new. At the beginning you felt scared. In baby steps you experienced one small success after another. The initial fear gradually turned into familiarity while you became more confident and developed the necessary techniques.
David Kelley explains this progress by describing how to build your creative confidence.
With only 2 minutes of power posing many introverts can increase their own confidence gradually at their own pace without feeling forced to do it. Another study showed that drivers who were forced to smile even while being in a bad mood tended to withdraw from work until they felt better. This emphasises the importance of keeping your own pace!
Happiness is your final goal
Considering the amount of challenge versus the amount of skills people can feel differently.
Other feelings are less positive:
- Arousal: You are over-challenged but with practice you can reach the flow.
- Control: You feel comfortable but not challenged.
- Relaxation: You feel okay.
- Boredom: Unpleasant feeling and you are not excited about your tasks any more
- Apathy: Very negative feeling because you don’t care any more
You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent. (Paulo Coelho, Brazilian novelist)
The advice Amy Cuddy gives us is to pretend to be the person you want to be by acting out the change you want. It seems like learning a new habit. It often takes up to 60 days of daily practice to internalise and make the habit a second nature like getting dressed in the morning or brushing your teeth every day.
Since Amy’s TED talk was posted thousands of people have used 2 minutes wisely and thereby successfully confronted challenges:
- job interview
- giving a presentation
- facing their bullies
- escaping an abusive relationship
- auditions
- …
With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world. (Dalai Lama)
So what kind of poser are you: Low- or high-power?
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Susanne Ulm
I am a science geek with a passion for writing.